Very down today,,.  I have suffered with severe depression in the past & it sometimes raises it's ugly head.  Today that happened.

A brief run down of the issues playing with me today:

Self confidence issues
Am I a good parent?
Is my child under developing - he doesn't speak any words, although only 19 months!
Size issues due to weighing in v badly!!
Illness - cold/sore throat, nothing exciting
Boredom
Self doubt
Unsexy

Not reall ysure I want to go into these issues jsut yet on here, but I am sure I will open up soon..... 

Healthy baking

I've decided to keep on cooking & not limiting to purely only low fat / low cal food....  Just good home cooked stuff that errs on healthy.  So, with this in mind, I have made up a batch of gorgeous granola for my brekkie and have attempted a low fat chocolate cake from Dan Lepard's new cook book.  I shall let you know tomorrow how they both go down (and whether I am able to not devour the cake in one go!!!!)

x

Healthy mummy

It's bloody hard being healthy whilst looking after a bubba....  Well, I am finding it so.  I find myself eating for all the normal emotional reasons, but all the emotions come up in the same day with frightening recurrence!!!  There's stress, frustration, boredom and then there's the happy bits when you share a lovely moment with them with a biscuit.....  Too many issues in one small day to tempt me!!!

I realise this is pretty much just me.  There are millions of mums out there who are keeping themselves in fabulous shape perfectly well whilst looking after their families.  I, on the other hand, found it hard to look after myself before my son came along, let alone now.

I feel I am merely being rather useless and finding poor excuses.  To me, the stressful days feels very real, but as I type, it seems just poor. 

As I've stated before - it's a simple thing.... eat healthily and exercise.  A simple equation!  Just poorly executed.